


Secrets

by sharedwithyou



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mindfuck, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-11-03 09:12:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10964187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou
Summary: Inspired by Mary Lambert- Secrets“I don’t like to take it up the ass.”“What?!”





	Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> So I've finally had the time and energy to post despite recovering from a 'mild' (more like mildly horrible) case of strep throat.
> 
> I've also been stressing about writing something amazing for my 100th fic! In the end, I decided to channel all that awesomeness into this fic, my 99th. Because I've always done things a little early.
> 
> This fic is dedicated to all of you who've been there for me- whether from the beginning, whether you just started reading my stuff, whether you read all my shit or just your favorite pairing. The fic isn't as long as I'd like (shut UP tony) but I'm still proud of it.
> 
> you guys mean the world to me! When things get hard, I write my heart out and you guys are there for me.
> 
> This song means a lot to me; I feel like we all have our secrets but with you guys I can share them a bit at a time.
> 
> So here's another:  
> I've always done things a little early (like posting an anniversary fic for my 99th instead of 100th fic), but the best and my favorite example is getting engaged to my now-husband after only going out for 1 week.  
> It's the best decision I ever made, and every single moment together has been worth it.
> 
>  
> 
> So this fic has my 3 top features in it. Mindfuck, humor and angst. And I think it's the perfect anniversary fic for us. 
> 
> Love you all my lovelies!!
> 
> XOXO Bucky

 

“I don’t like to take it up the ass.”

 

 

“What?!”

 

 

“I think it’s rude of guys to ask because that’s where I take my shits and I like doing that without complications.”

You smiled as if the follow-up explanation was what the group was waiting for. And not, you know, for you to shut up and stop your sudden overshare.

 

“…well it’s important to be honest and open about your, uh, romantic preferences with your partner.” Steve was the first to speak up after the immense moment of silence.

 

“Yeah, but none of us here are!!” Clint croaked out as a follow-up. Evidently ass-play jokes were okay only when he instigated them. “Unless…”

 

“For the last time, (y/n)’s movie nights with me are not secret sweaty pillowfight parties!” Nat the Cat huffed, choosing not to address your comment.

 

“If my brother has cast some sort of honesty spell on you, please blink twice.” Thor was only half joking.

 

You grinned crazily and nodded, taking everyone’s hilarious reactions and filing them in your ‘memories for a rainy day.’

 

“Tony, any response?” Steve was eager to get the billionaire pervert involved so the attention would be diverted. Somehow Tony talking about his sexual preferences was 10 times more comfortable than when you did it.

 

“Uhh…”

 

Nat the Cat gave you a half weirded-out half proud look at being the first person ever to render Iron Mouth speechless. Barring that time when she punched him in the throat so hard he went mute for 2 days.

 

 

“Uh, I guess I think it’s selfish to deprive a man of that great pleasure if you’ve never even tried it before.”

 

 

“How would you even know what she’s tried before?!”

 

“I plead the sixth!”

 

“You mean the fifth?!”

 

“No, the sixth!! Oh wait, that’s sixth sense.”

 

 

 

“My most embarrassing moment was when I was taking the bus to the Urgent Care in downtown because of my stomach flu and I crapped my pants.”

 

“Goddamnit it, (Y/n)!!” Clint pushed his plate of mashed potatoes and salmon away and gave you a death glare.

 

“Did you just cook us dinner so you could then make us puke it up?!” Steve was grumpy because Tony had beaten him in hand-to-hand earlier.

 

“Are you okay?” Nat the Cat put her hand on your forehead, more concerned than annoyed, but you gave her a magnanimous grin and nodded.

 

“That sounds like a fascinating story.” Thor smiled and continued munching on the broccoli.

 

“Really?!”

 

“It’s because he doesn’t know what crapped her pants means,” Steve muttered to the archer.

 

“And don’t you dare tell him!” Nat the Cat whispered.

 

“Fine, I’ll wait until after dinner.” Clint huffed.

 

 

“I think I’m going to start eating in the lab like Bruce.” Was Tony’s response as he collected his plate and rushed off.

 

 

“What, no 2 girls one cup joke?”

 

“Shut up (y/n)!”

 

 

 

“I have no fucking clue why she’s being so weird.”

“Its (y/n). She’s always weird.” Bruce eyed Tony’s plate hungrily. Jerk hadn’t even brought him any food. Or even an extra utensil.

“Yes, but everyone knows I’m the King of Overshare.”

“Doesn’t that make you, like, immune to her weirdness?”

“Normally, yes. But I think this time she’s lost it.”

“Maybe you’ve lost it,” Bruce mumbled.

“What was that?!”

“Forget it.”

 

 

“Want to hear something Brucie?”

“If it involves your butt, no thanks. Tony already filled me in on your 2 bombshells earlier today.” It was more than he’d usually say, but a simple no wasn’t enough it seemed.

“It’s not about that.”

“Well, if it’s about the thing that made you check under all the tables to make sure Tony was actually out of the lab, then shoot.”

 

You stood real close to him, ignoring his ‘personal space’ rule, but he didn’t even lean his body away.

 

“Mm scrd td.”

“Gonna need you to speak up, (y/n).”

You sighed and moved your head from his ear to his shoulder.

In an uncharacteristically affectionate manner, he rested his head on yours.

 

 

“I’m scared to die, Brucie.”

 

“I know, hon.”

 

 

“Okay (y/n), I wasn’t gonna say anything-“

“Uh, overstatement of the century Tony?!?!”

“- but you have GOT to stop telling everyone your nasty business.”

“What, you didn’t enjoy the story of my first lesbian experience? Seems like it would be right up your alley.” You gave him a smarmy wink.

“Accidentally grabbing your grandmother’s boob when you pushed her back onto the sidewalk before the car hit her does not count!!”

 

“But I got to be the hero!!”

 

“Yes, but your leg was almost severed. And you had pictures. Which you showed us on my new widescreen plasma TV.”

 

You crossed your arms and gave him a mock-suspicious look.

 

“Are you just on edge because you haven’t had sex in like a week?”

 

“No, even though that doesn’t help-“

 

“Holy shit, you’ve been abstinent for seven whole days?!”

 

He scowled at you with a death glare. “Not exactly my choice was it?!”

 

“What, no strange?”

 

“No.” He replied thinly.

 

“But you even had my permission.”

 

“ ‘Yeah, go fuck the milkman for all I care’ doesn’t exactly count as permission.”

 

You sank onto the couch thoughtfully. “I guess I just assumed you’d take the out and bounce.”

 

“Anthony Howard Stark does not take the easy way out.”

 

“Pfft!!”

 

“Fine. Let’s say I was up for the challenge this time.”

 

“The challenge to stay with the same girl for more than 2 seconds?”

 

“Whatever.” He continued glowering at you, but sat down on the sofa next to you. Well, more like plopped down hard enough to bounce you off.

“So I finally admitted my feelings like a pussy. Are you gonna tell me why you’re being such a freak now? You owe me.”

“After you equated no anal with being selfish? Hell no.”

“Come on.” He tugged you over and tried to pull you into his lap. You responded by beaning him with a pillow. “Tell Uncle Tony what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just think it’s time we were all a little more open with each other.”

“Hey, I’m plenty open.”

“Right, which is why everyone knows we’re together.”

“Ugh, don’t say together.”

“Fine. Involved.”

“Ergh.”

“Fucking?”

“Well…”

“Fine. Jarvis hook up the intercom. I’m gonna tell everyone Tony and I are mmph-“

 

He could’ve stuffed a pillow in your face, but decided to mash your mouth with his instead.

 

A full minute passed before he removed himself.

 

“Wow.”

 

“Yeah. I’m a good kisser.”

 

“Actually, I was just surprised you like chewing cinnamon gum.”

“Hey, give that back!”

 

You stuck your tongue out with the wad of gum on it, which should have grossed you out. But it was Tony. He was gross.

 

You kind of liked being gross with him.

 

“There shouldn’t be anything that’s TMI with us, Stark.”

 

“Fine. But no more pictures. Good God woman, keep your knees and calves connected from now on.”

 

“You always asked me about that scar on my leg. Now you know why I never told you the back story.”

 

“Fair enough.”

 

“Although the scar on my elbow is a different matter-“

 

“What’s that Nat?! Yes I will go spar with you!!”

 

 

 

“And that’s when I decided I’d never eat cake off the ground again.”

“Beaker, please.”

Bruce decided not to comment on your gross story, so you passed the beaker to him without a cross-eyed face. You’d tortured him enough the past few days.

“So you haven’t told Tony yet.”

“The cake story? Well he-“

“You know what I mean.”

“I haven’t told anyone yet. Why should he have special treatment?”

 

“You’re not fooling anyone, (y/n).”

 

You let out a deep sigh. “Technically we’re fooling everyone. You just happened to walk in at a bad time.” Maybe the reason Bruce wasn’t so squirmy about all your overshares lately was because he’d actually seen you and Tony in a compromising position.

And it wasn’t missionary, I’ll tell you that.

 

“Why do you think you came to me when you found out about this genetic disorder thing?”

That’s what you’d taken to calling it. Not ‘possibly terminal illness.’ Not ‘I found out both my parents died from it and there’s a 90% chance I’ll die from it too.’

Not ‘you’d better tell all your friends since possible diagnoses are gonna show up within a few months.’

“Because you saw me sobbing into a piece of paper and I couldn’t pretend it was a break-up letter from Tony? Since, you know, if he was gonna be a wimp about it he’d just text me?”

 

“Oh, really? So, not because I can read you like a book? A coloring book?”

 

You smiled sadly and nudged him in the arm, which he took in stride along with the bear hug that came right after.

 

“Why is that, Bruce?”

 

You’d left to regale your friends with the tale of you sitting on a pencil before he replied into thin air.

 

 

“Figure it out, (y/n).”

 

 

 

“The first time I found out a girl was dating me for my money was in 10th grade.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Her name was Shelly. I wanted to cry, but I broke my mom’s grand piano instead.”

 

“…ouch.”

 

“I still get my underwear dry cleaned.”

 

“That’s-“

 

“I can tell you pi up to the 99th digit but I still get right and left mixed up sometimes.”

 

You wanted to burst out laughing at the last part but something about the look on his face made you hold your breath.

 

“And I know why you’ve been babbling all your secrets to everyone.”

 

You wanted to fall into a pile on the floor and start bawling, but you weren’t about to let Iron Asshole call you a baby.

“So I guess you’re returning the favor? Any more tidbits you’d like to share perhaps?”

 

He stared at you dead in the eyes for what felt like a year.

 

 

“I’m so fucking scared, (y/n).”

 

 

You let yourself melt into his embrace for 5 minutes before you asked.

 

“How’d you find out?”

 

“Bruce told me.”

 

“What?!”

 

“In exchange for another secret.”

 

“Like a Victoria Secret Angel’s number type of secret?”

 

 

 

“No, like I love you.”

 

**I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are.**

**So what?**

**I have you.**

**Author's Note:**

> SQUEEEEE
> 
> leave a comment if you liked!
> 
> Random Ramblings:
> 
> Quick Poll 1: Do you like to take it up the ass? JUST KIDDING JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FAVORITE PART?! In this fic or out of any of my fics you've read
> 
> FYI neither I nor lovely are gonna die of the genetic disorder =). I decided the best anniversary fic would have the angst but actually have a happy ending!! Because the happy ending is probably the best mindfuck of all time. As for me, I am negative for the disorders my parents have so I'm all good. 
> 
> my fav parts in my fics are usually the brucie cameos, and thor stealing a giraffe
> 
> yes both my fav boys tony and brucie are here. but since this was a one-shot i couldn't turn it into a harem-boy fic so poor brucie got the angst. sorry!!
> 
> quick poll 2: feel free to share a secret (big or small, deep or random) if you'd like!
> 
> Quick Poll 3: Anything you'd like to see in the future?! (this isn't really so much of a 'request' as ideas I can glean. When someone uses the word request I freak out and worry it won't be good etc etc) no promises any shit will get done though since i get sick and writers block and stuff
> 
>  
> 
> I love this fic because it has the angst (keeping the disease a secret/bruce's secret feelings), the mindfucks, and the humor, my fav part. and it doesn't destroy you at the end.
> 
> Thanks so much for being here for me lovelies!! Talk to y'all soon!
> 
>  
> 
> XOXO Bucky


End file.
